So tired!!

I am so damn tired of the bullshit in my life. I need a sugar daddy yesterday!! I am tired of men and their bullshit! My baby daddy is a complete piece of shit who does not think he owes me anything. I hate him and would be happy if he died tomorrow. I made a smart ass supposed to be funny and sarcastic comment to him and now he thinks... no he Knows its the truth!! He does this all the time. Last time he took something I said with extreme sarcasm he wouldn't drop it and ended not seeing his kids for an entire year! And I put him in jail. I think I should do the same thing again because me dogging him out is the only way that I can get him to treat me with respect... :(

My X is trying to get back with me.(not the bd) He wants to move in with me. I am completely considering it because he is a good man. He just does not have much of anything going for himself. I'm considering it because he is great with kids and will be a good babysitter.. :P I do love him and we have been off and on for almost 10yrs but I don't know about a serious relationship with him.

I am missing out big time and need to go to the city like right now so I can meet some of the sugar daddy's there. I'm getting lots of msgs from these men but things aren't really leading anywhere. Its mostly my fault cause things are so fucked up for me but then again I do get a lot of them who kinda get cold feet or just don't have the kinda money they should have for being a sugar daddy. You know? I still don't know why people who don't have any real money even sign up for these sites... Whatever..

I stood up a sugar daddy who lives in my area twice. I am bad.. Luckily he is still interested in meeting me. yay! He is really funny looking in his pictures. I think I am going to have to get really drunk and fuck the shit out of him and I would be able to get anything I want. I'm going to suggest dinner first. He has wanted me to meet him at his home.. not to sure about that at this point... :P

I'm going to call him back tonight and see whats up. I need to get back on the ball in my search for the perfect sugar daddy.

Oh yea... The job. I have been working for this guy for about a week now. I don't know if he wants me to stay on permanently, that would be nice.. But he is a little confused why his previous assistant recommended me. He asked me about it friday and I just said I think she liked my work ethic. He thinks I knew her prior to this.. I am not going to be doing any of the other things that she wanted me to do at all. Unless I will be getting paid extra... Its just not going to happen.

Lets see how all of this mess goes...