The possibilities

I am seriously considering taking this man up on his offer.

It is most definitely time to give him a name.

Hmmm....

How about Mr. Possibility... Because it is possible that we could take this in the direction that I have been avoiding for so long.

To be completely honest I really love the way he makes me feel. He is the sweetest guy I have met in the longest time.

Maybe its just lust, or that he has never been with a woman like me or as pretty as me. I find him staring at me sometimes and it makes me a little self conscious, I hate when people stare. But when I ask him why hes staring, he's just like 'I cant help it, your so beautiful, I cant look away..."

From the time we first met we have been able to just talk about anything and everything. A few times he gave me a ride home but when we got there we ended up sitting outside talking for the next 3 hours like neither of us had somewhere to be.

We honestly have an incredible connection. We have been good friends and I would like it to stay that way.

I haven't given him an answer because I don't want to say no. But would it be right to say yes?

Is it right to satisfy my own needs just because he may feel a certain way about me right now? What if after the fact, he regrets his decision? Or what if I regret saying yes or no?

So many things have been running through my mind I cant seem to think straight. I cant seem to focus on one thing.

Honestly I cant seem to find a reason to say no besides some of the stories I have heard. All the horror stories about getting too close to the clients. But on the same token, what about all the stories about the couples who met through the business and are happily married. What about the good side of it.

But then again, isn't he satisfying his needs by wanting me with him in that way?
He wants someone who is understanding of his career. He travels a hell of alot. Which is fine with me.
He obviously wants someone he can come home to and have crazy sex with. Hey, I love to fuck! :P
He wants more children.... yea.. so do I...

My hesitation, I guess is mostly because I like my independence. Although he hasn't said anything to me about me quitting escorting. He has actually encouraged it. We laugh at some of the loonies I have seen.. :P


Right now I'm asking myself "whats really holding me back?"

The fact that he is and has been a client.

The fact that I have only known him for 4 months.

The fact that I literally hate being in a relationship because I hate the conflict. When its good I love it, but once it goes bad I cant stand it because I have other things I need to focus my energy on. Like my children.

The fact that he is moving out of the country. I would love to go but idk if I would want to actually stay there for good. I just moved to NYC. Do I really want to leave so soon..

We have plenty of time to figure this out. I need to figure out what would be the best decision for my family. Saying yes wouldn't be a 'bad' decision per se because either way it goes it is a win-win situation for me. For him, not so much.